Section 20
Fifteen Ways to Give Children or Adult
Clients Insights into their Anxiety

Table of Contents | NCCAP/NCTRC CE Booklet

(See Appendix at the end of this Manual for reproducible Client Worksheet #3)

Ideally with your anxiety-disordered client, he or she learns to pose your questions to themselves. This section contains 15 Questions and is followed by a checklist containing these questions. Duplicate and provide your client with a checklist to assist in keeping a weekly record of the questions that proved to be of the most assistance in decreasing their anxiety.

1. "What's the evidence for or against this idea?"
This is one of the most frequently asked questions in therapy and one clients readily learn to use. Together, therapist and client develop an agreement regarding what constitutes acceptable evidence.

2. "What's the logic?"
As you know, anxious clients jump to conclusions without considering their logic. One client with a health phobia thought her doctor was withholding information that something was wrong with her. Once she looked for the logic in the situation, she saw that it was unlikely that her doctor would lie to her. The question posed as a follow-up was, "What would the doctor have to benefit from lying?" The resulting course of events was explored.

3. "Are you oversimplifying the result of your actions?"
A student assumed that if he failed a test he would be expelled from college. We then discussed other students that were making less than perfect grades, and that mistakes did not automatically lead to leaving college.

4. "Are you confusing a habit with a fact?"
Mary, 23, had social anxiety and thought strangers would have the impression, "She looks funny, and there's something wrong with her." Mary was unable to provide the therapist with any evidence that strangers reacted to her this way, but she still believed it. The therapist pointed out that she had these thoughts in many different situations and that perhaps the thought seemed to only be true simply because she had a strong habit of thinking along these lines. Mary learned to ask herself, "Is this thought coming from reality or is it coming from my habit of thinking a certain way?"

5. "Are your interpretations too far removed from reality to be accurate?"
The therapist may say: When you become too remote from what you can perceive with your five senses, it's easy to enter the world of fantasy and nonreality. In short, ask yourself, "What did you see or hear?" When you stick with what you can perceive, you're usually on much safer ground.

6. "Are you confusing your version of the facts with the actual facts?"
Clients are told to keep in mind the facts in their entirety can never be known, and to discriminate between the known facts and the added information they put on these facts. Facts remain the same, but opinion varies. For example, "You really do not know what another person is thinking."

7. "Are you thinking in all-or-none terms?"
As you know, your anxious client often sees his experiences as black or white and overlooks the fact that almost nothing is "either/or." One client believed she was going to be either completely loved by others or totally rejected. In one session, the therapist gave her the following explanation: In general, everything we know, we know by contrast; the English language is set up in such a way. We need to know "down" to understand "up." When you're anxious, you often make absolute and sharp contrasts. A useful strategy for anxiety is to cut off the extremes by considering the worst possible expectation ("Everyone there will ridicule me") and the best possible expectation ("Everyone there will be overjoyed to see me"). Usually you end up dropping both extremes and expecting the middle course ("I'll go and see what happens"). Clients usually accept the middle possibility much more easily after the therapist has presented both extremes.

8. "Are you using words or phrases that are extreme or exaggerated?"
Words such as "always, forever, never, need, should, must, can't, and every time" rarely correspond with reality. The same applies to the verb to be: "I am anxious" versus "I have some anxiety." This point is explored further in the Audio Tape.

9. "Are you taking selected examples out of context?"
Clients are often so consumed with a feared event that they do not perceive the larger context in which it takes place. One of the effects of anxiety is that a person loses touch with the general context of the situation. Ask your client, "If you can imagine one year from now, how do you think you will view this situation?"

10. "Are you using cognitive defense mechanisms?"
These mechanisms may be rationalization, denial, or projection: "I'm not afraid, I just don't want to go out"; "The other people expect me to be perfect"; or, "I don't want to make the call because I don't have the time." A further practical application of cognitive defense mechanisms is provided in Section Six of this Manual, "The Five R's ."

11. "Is your source of information reliable?"
Is Uncle George's opinion of the situation likely to be colored by vested interest, lack of experience, prejudice, or other factors? Clients will often give credence to unreliable sources. One client who feared bankruptcy believed all the dire financial predictions he read or heard about without considering their source. Do you need to ask your client to "consider the source" in your next session?

12. "Are you thinking in terms of certainties instead of probabilities?"
Clients often demand a degree of certainty that is unattainable. Many anxious people want to have 100-percent assurance that what they fear will not happen. It is helpful to point out to clients that there is often a 10-percent uncertainty factor that everyone has to live with. Thus, clients confronted with an ambiguous situation can see it as part of this uncertain 10 percent.

13. "Are you confusing a low probability with a high probability?"
The therapist can help clients see that a possibility differs from a probability. The fact that one could go insane does not necessarily imply a high probability that one will. In your next session, do you need to discuss the difference between "probability" and "possibility?"

14. "Are your judgments based on feelings rather than on facts?"
Many anxious clients use their feelings to validate their thoughts, and thus start a vicious cycle: "I'll be anxious when I ask for the date so there must be something to fear." Your client connects his or her feelings as a validation of the fact. Would it be appropriate to point this out to them in your next session?

15. "Are you over focusing on irrelevant factors?"
One person thought, "Because three people I know died of heart attacks, I know I'll have one." When presenting these questions, I find an attitude that displays curiosity, which minimizes the feeling of a threat, is most effective. As mentioned earlier, give clients a listing of these questions and ask them to keep a record for a week. The questions they find most useful can then be listed on a smaller card and kept in their wallet as a reminder while standing in a checkout line. (The preceding is based on an article by Beck).